I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
