If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
