If that was your dad, he is hot
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
