I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
