summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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