My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
