i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
