guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So squirting runs in the family.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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