the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
