dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize