since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
