he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
