Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
