i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
