There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
