nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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