Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
