definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
