this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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