so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
