yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
