I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
