Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
There r osticjed everywhere
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
