brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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