Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
