get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
