At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
