BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
