he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
