Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
