Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
