Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
