I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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