Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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