I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
