it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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