Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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