Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
