Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
