I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
