I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
