Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
