How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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