i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
