I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
