PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
