when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
