Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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