Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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