oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
