Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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