i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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