I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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