After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Congratulations! We have a period
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
