omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
